Monday, July 24, 2006

A Salaam Aleikum ,Saleem kalb


The Virgin Entry of......
Saleem Kalb
"Hoarding" or "Collecting" is a psychological disorder. It occurs
when animal lovers or rescuers take on more animals than they can
manage or are for; thus, they unintentionally become passive abusers
themselves. Hoarding can becomes both a cruelty issue and a public
safety (health) issue. (http://www.animaladvocacy.net/legacy_hoarding.html)
What is the deal with people's obsessions with dawgs? I think its sick. Our culture's obsession with controlling dawgs of all sizes, shapes and colors, cardinal direction (i.e. Pointer7), is reminiscent of the manifest destiny that all but wiped out the Native Americans. Is it because they can lick their own asses; perform self filashio? No it is a POWER GRAB!!!!!!!A wise man once fastened to his pickup truck... “He who dies with the most dawgs wins”. Dr. Loadman-Copeland writes, "Dogs don't argue with you; you talk to them and they listen.” Even the alpha dog was reading a novel entitled “My Pet Goat” on the morning of Sept. 11, 2001. Perry Ferill once wrote, “We'll make great pets!We'll make great pets!”. Another expert on animal hording explains, “

Very few hoarder cases simply involve good intentions gone awry, despite the insistence of the hoarder that he or she loves the animals and wants to save their lives," says Lockwood. "It's unbelievable how someone who reports to love animals so much can cause so much suffering."-Rebecca Simmons
There is one report of a case of dog hoarding in which the accused hoarded only dawgs that suffered from coprophagia.
. On expert on the subject writes on coprophagia,
“Nutritional deficiencies may be present in some dogs, but not very many. This may be boredom related in many dogs. It has some "natural" roots in the fact that dams often eat their pup's stools, apparently as a method of hiding their presence from predators. Dogs will eat the stools of other species, especially cats and rabbits, too. Dogs obviously do not find the taste of feces objectionable or the behavior would be self correcting. So I think of this as a natural behavior that upsets people. Since dogs have to live with people, it is becomes an issue.
By hoarding dogs only with coprophagia the accused was able to teach her pets to eat their own fecal matter. This paradigm shift for the pets made them a self sustaining, shit eating herd. After years of shit eating these dawgs no longer craved a filet mignon, a t-bone or any other K-9 delicacy. This seemingly peaceful herd of dawgs inspired their owner to evolve into their “self-sustaining” hegemony. Yes that's right, she began to eat her own shit. Experts speculate that shit-eating appealed to the accused as a more meaningful relationship with the dawgs around her. This in turn caused the accused to speculate... “If this experiment brought me closer to my dawgs...what about my neighbors, friends and family”. Soon enough the accused began collecting the feces of her friends, family and neighbors. She would sabotage her toilet to harvest the largest and freshest of loads. Before long the accused was able to set up a series of networks, all eating their own shit on a daily basis. People began to share their shit all over the world.
Before the accused was sent to prison, the judge asked her if she had any statement to make. She replied affirmatively and stated boldly,
Oftentimes, we live in a processed world—you know, people focus on the process and not results."—Bush, speaking on the Middle East peace processSource: Public Papers of the Presidents, "Interview With Print Journalists," June 2, 2003

5 comments:

POINTER said...

Saleem kalb should learn how to perform ,oh I mean, spell fellatio before he uses it!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I thought this blog was going to be inciteful and educational; a real man's perspective on the problems of the modern world. Instead I have found the rantings of a crazed canine obsessed lunatic. Disapointed, I am.

POINTER said...

You sound incited by the ravings of my arab lunatic fringe friend ...Let's have your contribution so we have something real and manly to compare to!!!!!!!!

POINTER said...

Stillen ,who are you? Are you chillin'? Show yourself ,my Man!

Anonymous said...

longjohn,

An allegory! Thanks for the help, surely you are salpointe educated.

What you do not know is that the American public was promised a true epiphany on this blog. The NY Tymes reviewed it as "a hope for the future, a guide for the revolution...a truely motivational publication worthy of a Pulit-czar!" Yet it seems to have fallen short. I mean pork chops and chuggo? wtf. How can the uprising begin if we indulge in gluttony and accuse the statue of liberty of immaculate conception?


Who writes this drabble anyway?